Sparta, Interrupted

I've been growing more and more unhappy with everything about my job as time flies on. Eric swung by the other day and asked how much I hated my job. I didn't have a real answer when he asked me, but since then I've thought of the computer AM from I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream when it was asked how much it hates humanity.

"HATE. LET ME TELL YOU HOW MUCH I'VE COME TO HATE YOU SINCE I BEGAN TO LIVE. THERE ARE 387.44 MILLION MILES OF PRINTED CIRCUITS IN WAFER THIN LAYERS THAT FILL MY COMPLEX. IF THE WORD HATE WAS ENGRAVED ON EACH NANOANGSTROM OF THOSE HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS OF MILES IT WOULD NOT EQUAL ONE ONE-BILLIONTH OF THE HATE I FEEL FOR HUMANS AT THIS MICRO-INSTANT FOR YOU. HATE. HATE."

Then I thought of the Total Perspective Vortex from the sequel to the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, which is described thusly. "You can kill a man, destroy his body, break his spirit, but only the Total Perspective Vortex can annihilate a man's soul!"

So, things could be better at the moment.  I do blog psuedoanonamously here, and we discussed why in the comments briefly, and it's mostly because I bitch about my job so much. It's not hard to figure out who I am based on information that I've let slip, but it would be more difficult to happen upon this blog if you were searching only for my real name.

To return to Eric's visit, we did have a very nice time when he was over. Lily told him "Tiny Titans is my favorite book!"

Lily and Gavin played superheroes (he was Batman, she was Superwoman) and pretended that their superpowers included supercleaning as they dusted around the house with Lily's little toy cleaning supplies. When Gavin started cleaning my face, Eric told him to sweep something else, so I did my best John Kreese impression and said "Sweep the leg, Gavin."

Eric wanted some time to talk like grownups (sort of. We talked about video games and super heroes) so we turned on Scooby Doo, Mystery Inc to distract the kids. It's the new Scooby Doo series, and it's surprisingly good.

The other day, Jen asked me if I were writing anything for Geek Speak this month and I said that I was going to see Sucker Punch.

"Is that a boy movie?" she asked.

I said that it had a lot of girls in it.

"Yes, dear," she replied, "Boy movies often do."

On Tuesday I saw Sucker Punch and it was terrible. Since I do owe Geek Speak a real review and since I dislike duplicating material, I'll just outline things briefly here and relate reactions that will be of interest mainly to people who know me in real life.

The movie was essentially Sparta Interrupted!

Like this, but with icepicks and fishnets

I went there with Frederick and Eric and Ancker. Frederick had won a couple tickets from the local radio station, and he very generously (or so it seemed at the time) invited us to come with him to see it.

We grabbed dinner at the local Chinese buffet and Frederick mentioned previous tickets that he had won last year, but never got to use. That sounded vaguely familiar, and somebody asked him which movie and he replied Jonah Hex. Somebody else was like, "Jonah Hex kinda sucked, didn't it?" and I was as oblivious as the guy in the horror movie when the creepy music starts playing and the camera pans away from him to focus on the spoor of the monster. We were in trouble but we didn't know it.

The previews were the best part of the movie.

First up is Arthur - with Russell Brand  as the titular aardvark  and Jennifer Garner as Skeletor. Also featuring Luiz Guzman as himself. I liked Russell Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall, but remaking Arthur just seems wrong. What else does Dudley Moore have going for him? Let the guy have his legacy!

Priest - A Vampire movie when it's Ash Wednesday all the time. It did have nice visuals though. The Priest has to leave his walled city to rescue his niece from the vampires.  Her name is Lucy. Of course it is. Something about he trailer reminded me of the cover from Wasteland, which was a piece I really liked.

X-Men: First Class: This looks like it's made entirely out of awesomeness. Nuff said, true believers.

Three Musketeers: I guess we were about due for another go at this. It looks amazingly generic. For the first half of this trailer, I thought they were rerunning the Priest one by mistake.

Fast Five: Who, exactly, was clamoring for this? It's the fifth (!!!) movie in the Fast & the Furious series, whose movies shared little beyond fast cars and the same name, but I have to admire their ambition, because they seemed to bring back everybody who wanted in from the previous installments, so yay for continuity porn. Also, I do like the Rock.

Hangover Part II:  Ayup.

And finally, Captain America! It looks great, but I have some unanswered questions, will Chris Evans will use his flame powers or his skateboarding prowess to defeat the Nazis? Will Hugo Weaving need any makeup to play the Red Skull? How awesome is it that the Howling Commandos are in the movie?!

And then it was time for Sucker Punch.I'm not going to go into great detail, because I owe Geek Speak the full review, and as I said on Facebook, if you hate woman and love lobotomies, this is the movie for you!

Snyder has stated that one interpretation of the film is that it is a critique on geek culture’s sexism and objectification of women.

I think that's bullshit. *coughcoughParodyretconcough*

I'll link to my review when I finish it.