Hey, I finally used my square egg machine!

About twelve years ago or so, I made the best purchase of my life.

About seven years or so, Jen threatened to throw it out, "You've never used it, you don't like eggs, and I'm reasonably sure you don't even know where it is."

Since then, we've had a daughter who actually likes eggs, so about one night or so, we finally used it!

Here are some pictures of the process:

The actual square egg machine
 

Behold! The square egg!

That regular egg is jealous!

Princesses insist on square eggs

Cute things Lily does

She sometimes is so sweet. She told us that a little boy was her boyfriend, but she hasn't told him or anyone else in her class because she doesn't want anyone to be jealous.

We've been playing a lot of superheroes in the morning. On Tuesday, we played out a scenario where Wonder Princess (played by Lily) had breakfast with her mommy, and Wonder Princess was just so gracious and thankful for the meal. “Oh, thank you for the cereal.” “Here, let me throw out that apple core.” And I was thinking, She’s nicer to her doll family than she is to us at mealtimes.

That same play session, I observed that she was also very keen on safety gear. Wonder Princess’s mommy reminded her to put on a helmet, which was fortunate, because she was attacked by a football field sized monster from one of the cartoons. But it was just bouncing off of her because she was wearing her helmet and kneepads. Another superhero showed up and the monster jumped on her and it flattened her, and Wonder Princess was saying, “I bet you wish your wore your kneepads and helmet!”

She had another doll playing a superhero of her own creation,"Throwing Dirty Diapers Girl", whose power is exactly what it sounds like, and who somehow ascended to a leadership position in Lily's superhero organization. (She's still a better superhero than Triplicate Girl.)

Lily was using a bunch of Wizard of Oz dolls, and there was one I just couldn't figure out what character it was supposed to be.  It was like a grey cat in an old-fashioned dress. I asked her "Who is this?" and she raised her hands in exasperation and said in an extremely patronizing voice, "It's the wolf from Little Red Riding Hood. You remember the story of Little Red Riding Hood, don't you?" and I was like "Jeebus, dude. Do you talk to your classmates like that? Because if so, get used to living inside your locker."

I had picked up a couple Legion of Superhero happy meal toys cheap online the other week. I gave her the heroes right away, but I held off giving her the villains, because I didn't think she would like them. I couldn't have been more wrong. Normal kids do not say "Oh, boy! You got me some SUPERVILLIANS!"

And just so you don't think it's all superheroes all the time, as Lily was walking up the stairs for bedtime, she said," I love you and mommy one hundred million and Baby Bear one hundred sixty." Pause. "A hundred million is more than a hundred sixty, right? I didn't want you to think that I loved a stuffed animal more than I loved you."

Roger Zelazny Book Review: Q&A about the Merlin books

I'm sorry for taking so long to get back to you. I think I'll make this an actual post, rather than reply in the comments section, because it did wind up being pretty lengthy.

Chris DeVito :Having finally read all the Merlin books, I have to admit to continued bemusement at your relentless antipathy for Merlin, Josh. Yes, he's young, overconfident, and cloddishly earnest.

The short version is that there's a very wide gulf between Merlin as we're told and Merlin as we're shown and I think they're irreconcilable. (The even shorter version is that this is the Internet and I think it's more fun to write a post full of outrageous hyperbole than it is to state, "I found Merlin a less compelling character than Corwin.")

We're *told* that he's this charming and brilliant polymath who mastered the Logrus, Logrus sorcery, the Pattern, Pattern sorcery,  Trump artistry, and computer programming to the extent that he could build his own AI demigod, all before his 30th birthday. Also, he's an Olympic caliber athlete, a brilliant fencer, and irresistible to women. I can accept that. There are incredibly talented people out there and he does come from a race of superhumans with almost endless resources to call upon, so I'm willing to give that a pass.

But when he has to demonstrate that brilliance, he's really painfully slow. Bill Roth is attorney, and probably a good one, but like I said, he's got to hold Merlin's hand through the painfully obvious. And, yeah, smart doesn't mean sensible, and yes, Bill is largely there to provide exposition for the reader but Jesus, for someone who is paranoid and ostensibly brilliant, Merlin is consistently slow on the uptake.

We're never shown why he's so great; we're only shown by the reactions of established characters. The core of my dislike of Merlin is that the story is that his presence warps the characterization of characters from the fist book. Gerard was the rock of Amber. He was above the squabbles of the others, and he loved his family, with all their faults, and he loved Amber. Now he has to stand to with his brothers and sisters to curry favor with Merlin.

With the first series, I always felt that Corwin only barely triumphed through desperate cunning and Herculean effort. But this never reflected poorly on him. Quite the opposite. It elevated his adversaries and therefore it elevated him. Merlin never has to exert himself, coasting to victory after victory by dumb luck, powerful patrons or straight up incompetence on the part of his opponents (And after all that he went through, didn't you feel a little sorry for poor Jurt?)

Chris DeVito:  I hate to say it, but that's the kind of sloppiness typical of (a) lazy writers, (b) hack writers, or (c) writers who just don't give a damn. Obviously the first two don't apply to Zelazny; but I have to wonder if, at that point, he'd just had enough of the Amber books and cranked out the last couple as quickly and easily as possible, without much concern for things like continuity and loose ends.

That's the impression I get too. I do like the short stories that followed the Merlin books. It feels like they were leading up to something, rather than just trying to end something that had already gone on too long. (Then again, it may be a matter of personal preference, because I think I prefer Zelazny's short works over his longer ones.)

Adventures of a Self-Rescuing Princess

Sometimes, in a fit of pique that only a four-year-old can muster, Lily will tell Jen or me, "You're annoying me!" And here's my little secret. I annoy her on purpose in the morning.

She is such a deep sleeper that it's hard to get her up in the morning. So I'll turn on the light in her room when I enter, or sit down next to her bed and say something deliberately provocative. She's enough like me (or I'm enough like a four-year-old) that she's unable leave a false statement uncorrected, so she'll rise up, more often than not to announce, "You're wrong and let me tell you why!"

She was wearing her froggy footsie pajamas last night and because we had been watching super hero cartoons for Wacky Wednesday, I asked her if she was Frog Girl.

Her eyes opened and her smile lit up and she declared that she was Hopping Kid, and her power was to "hop on the bad guy's face to distract them."

And I'm happy that she's hoppy. I don't want to be a dad who forces his interests on his kid, but I would like to show her the stuff I like and tell her why I like it, and it's always wonderful when she likes it too. Princesses are fine, but she's been making a lot of "I can't do this, because that's for boys" type comments, and I'm happy that she likes the girl superheroes who fight right up there with the boys, because if she must be a princess, then let her be the self-rescuing kind.

So, before she got dressed, we had a superhero adventure with her dolls and stuffed animals. Hopping Kid teamed up with Super Bear (Who knew that Baby Bear was a part time superhero?) to defeat "Granny Cat" who had kidnapped Saturn Girl and "Brainiac 2525" (Lily had a little trouble remembering the number behind the name).

They managed the rescue so quickly that we had time to stage another kidnapping and rescue. This time, "Flying Mermaid with a Giant Head" had kidnapped Flower Queen and it was up to her daughter Wonder Butterfly, to save her. A giant Scott Pilgrim tried to save them, but he only messed things up by sitting on top of the prison and sealing it tighter.

Nice One, Pilgrim

We decided that only the horn of a space unicorn could free Flower Queen, but when we tried to pry it open, we learned that the unicorn pillow pet playing the role of the space unicorn was in fact only a pillow pet. I hate it when that happens!

Pictured: Not a Space Unicorn

She's eventually rescued and we have this exchange.

Me (as Flower Queen) : Thank you for rescuing me.

Lily (Wonder Butterfly): You’re welcome.

Me: As a reward, you can have candy for dinner tonight.

Lily: I don’t need a reward. I’m just happy you’re safe.

And that made me happy too.

Often when we have a little extra time, I'll walk outside to my car and after I've gotten halfway there, Lily will run out and give me my hug and kiss and say something sweet. "Bye! I hope you have a great day at work!"

As she was walking back to the house, she found a dandelion, so she picked it up and gave it to me so I could blow the seeds off. “I hope that all the flowers blossom so that mommy will be happy!”

She really is sweet. The night before, we watched three episodes of the Legion of Super Heroes, which I'll get to in a minute and baked some cookies. One of the episodes reminded me of the fable of Stone Soup and we told it to Lily. (Also, in looking it up just now, I see that there is actually a system for classifying folk tales, and I think that's awesome.) After that, we went upstairs to see if we could find a copy of Tom Chapin's Stone Soup song and also Homemade Lemonade, which is another really cute song. Jen and Lily jumped on the bed together while listening to it.

All in all, a very nice night.

And if anyone cares about the episodes of the Legion of Superheroes that we watched, here they are:

Phantom: While lollygagging in the Superman museum, Superman accidentally releases an evil twin from the Phantom Zone, who goes on a rampage. He was kind of creepy looking so Lily didn't like this episode, but I did. It was like Superman's smackdown of Darkseid from the finale of the Justice League, and about three times as long. I also liked how they continued to strike a balance between Superman being vastly more powerful than the rest of the Legionnaires, but still allowing them to challenge him in their chosen arenas.

Best moment: Brainiac 5 taking some hidden kryptonite out of a hidden safe, only to learn it is ineffective against this ersatz Kryptonian, who promptly steals it for use against Superman.

An unpleasant surprise

Champions: Lightning Lad is competing in the dodecathlon and assassins are trying to kill Phantom Girl's mom, the President of the United Planets. Superman and Phantom Girl provide security while Lightning Lad competes against his older brother, who is cheating in order to win. Lily was saying "I think he's evil," and I was saying, "I don't know if he's a bad guy or just a cheater. We'll have to watch to find out."  (He was just a cheater and at the end Lily very graciously said, "Oh, I guess you were right.") This episode had two iconic Legionnaires, Ultra Boy and Matter Eater Lad as contestants in the games and not Legion members and they team up with the rest of the heroes to stop the bad guys at the end. Another fun episode.

Best moment: Phantom Girl making her Clark Kent face.

Superman is not amused

Lightning Storm: At the beginning of the episode, Superman is being strangled by a space squid, so of course they dispatch Triplicate Girl to rescue him, which goes about like you'd expect.

Still a sucky superhero, but three Mirrors of Venus as a symbol is inspired

Lightning Lad is invited to join a team of "cooler" heroes, and while it's hard to imagine a team cooler than the Legion, there it is. Also, we get a cameo from certain members of the Legion of Substitute Heroes, an organization composed of superpeople with powers too lame even for the Legion. Members include Chlorophyll Kid (who makes plants grow really quickly), Color Kid (who changes the color of things), Double Header (who has two heads and no powers),  Infectious Lass (uncontrollably infects people around her with various diseases, including "gender-reversal germs"), and Stone Boy (who turns into an immobile stone statue). They get their own episode later in the series, and I can't wait for it. This wasn't the strongest in the series, but I'm happy that we watched it out of order, (Lily requested one with Bouncing Boy in it) because it features Lightning Lad's brother, who has gone from a jerk to a full on villain. 

Best moment: The Legion of Substitute Heroes, natch

The best and brightest of the Subs

You mean to tell me it's the 30th century and they haven't cured Legionnaires' disease?

I don't know if I'd call myself a "fan" of the Legion of Superheroes*, but I've always had a soft spot for the the group. If I remember correctly, the very first comic book I ever read on my own was a Legion story. We were on a family vacation and I was probably being a pest, so my father bought me some comics to shut me up.

It was one of those digest editions you find at supermarket checkout lines, and it had the retelling of the origin stories of various Legionnaires. The one I remember most clearly is that of Ultra Boy. He was a teenager named Jo Nah who was swallowed by a space whale ** and gained super powers as part of the ordeal. I was probably around eight and I was thinking "Yes, that seems reasonable."

The series has been going on in one form or since 1958, with the occasional reboot every decade or so. As a result, its continuity even more snarled than usual for comic books. (Though I happen to like the mythology that comes with a long running series like this, like the concept of the flight ring and its distinctive design.)

The gist of the Legion of Super Heroes, in very basic terms, is that it's a large *** group of teenage superheroes in the 30th century whose members each have one kind of cruddy superpower. For instance, Triplicate Girl is a normal person with the power to turn into three normal people, Karate Kid works out a lot and Bouncing Boy turns into a ball.

And then there's the ringer. Sometimes Superman is on the team too, with his entire panoply of awesome superpowers. I was talking about this with a friend. She says Superman makes the other legionaries irrelevant. Well, yes, I suppose, but when I show up with two of my friends I make Triplicate Girl irrelevant too.

Like any long running series, the theme and quality of the work varies over time. It's usually more light-hearted in tone than most comics, though my favorite Legion story (and one of my favorite all time comic stories ever) comes from the gritty Legion period. It's called The Great Darkness Saga, and here's the gist of it.

Darkseid survived into the 30th century. Having been forgotten by almost everyone, he defeated the era's two most powerful villains (Mordru and the Time Trapper) and absorbs their powers, subsequently using those abilities to enslave the entire population of the planet Daxam, who have Superman level powers when away from their home planet (except they're vulnerable to lead instead of Kryptonite). Darkseid moves the planet to a yellow sun and then sends his legions outward. One of the first places they hit is an outpost manned by a couple rookie Legion members. They were Karate Kid, Element Lad and some other guy who I forget.

Darkseid "only" sent about ten thousand Daxamites against these three guys, but they were barely superheroes at all,so that was overkill by a factor of about ten thousand. In desperation, Element Lad turns the atmosphere of the planet to ten parts per million lead  and I was like, "Woah, hardcore."

The cartoon series is distinctly lighter, but no less enjoyable. We picked it up from from Netflix, and Lily really liked it (despite not really liking Superman). I like it too. I'm rather amazed that such a niche property got made into a cartoon. It's unabashedly a kid's show, but there are some things aimed at an older audience, like a robot butler named Wodehouse, or Superman flying out to the Oort cloud, or him being chastised by his teammates who think he's spending too much time with his girlfriend. (They tell him "There's no 'Alexis' in 'team'.") Also, Lobo gets a cameo and a 15-year-old girl steals his bike. (The Main Man, my ass.)

I liked the Justice League series, but there seemed too much effort to find parity between the various members of the team, which resulted in too many scenes of Superman being barely stronger than Batman or Hawkgirl reacting faster than the Flash. I'm really pleased to say there is no such balancing here. There have already been several scenes where Superman shows up, kind of shrugs and then demolishes all the supervillains that had been smacking around the rest of the Legion.

When talking about the scene below later Lily described them as "A pink lady, a fat kid, and a green girl."

A pink lady, a fat kid, and a green girl walk into a bar...

That's no green girl! That's Brainiac 5! He's a robot! With hair!

Also, I dig all the character designs, but especially those for Saturn Girl (whom Lily refers to as "Planet Girl") and Lightning Lad. I like her little freefloating Saturn earrings, and I like the fact that his eyes light up when he uses his power and so does his scar. They're both trivial details, but they serve to make the characters memorable.

Lily especially likes Phantom Girl, and she happened to be wearing a black and white dress the same day we watched the show.

Me: Hey, you're wearing a black and white dress! Are you Phantom Girl?
Lily: No, I can't pass through things.
Me: Okay.
Lily: And I don't have that symbol on my chest.
Me: Okay, I-
Lily: And my skin is pink, not white.
Me: Relax, dude. I was just making conversation.

I think there's a definite resemblance though.

I don't know about you, but I certainly can't tell them apart.



* Though others might disagree, as I have a ready answer in the unlikely event that I'm ever asked "Who's your favorite Legionnaire?" (Duh, Cosmic Boy. He's got cool magnetic powers.)

** When I related this to a friend, she replied "Oh, boy.  Jo Nah, huh?  Maybe he should have been swallowed by Cthulhu and become a Unitarian" which is the greatest comment anyone has ever made about anything. Because Unitarians worship Cthulhu.

*** Regarding the large roster: In New Year's Evil: Mr. Mxyzptlk #1, Mxyzptlk attempts to recruit a parody of the Legion, called the Logjam of Super-Heroes, from his comic book collection. Despite its many members, the only ones who were properly identified were Batter-Eater Lad, Beachball Boy, Butler-Eater Lad, Butter-Eater Lad, Button-Eater Lad, Kid Kid, Kid Lass, Lightning Lice, Loud Kid, Mutton-Eater Lad, and Negative Lass.