Game of Thrones, Season 4, Episode 4: "Meanwhile, back at the..."

This was a really boring episode. I would go far as to say it's the worst episode of the series so far.

I don't always keep good track of the sequence of scenes I don't find interesting. I'll remember that there was a bit with Bran, but did it come before or after the scene with Gilly? To combat this tendency, I noted every time there was a change of scene, whether I found it interesting or not.  That's why my notes this week look like

Jaime and Bronn
Jaime and Tyrin
Littlefinger
Granny Tyrell
Castle Black
Jaime and Cersei

We open with "Why kant Grey Worm read", where he is practicing the common tongue with Missandei. Daenerys "I have plenty of black friends" Stormborn enters the scene, looking unaccountably smug about the whole thing, but at least Emilia Clarke added a third expression to her repertoire, to go with "Gnashing teeth" and "Opium Haze".

Grey Worm infiltrates the city and this is just the epitome of everything I hate about the  Daenerys storyline. More cartoonishly evil villains to topple, more slow, telegraphed verbal softballs for the main characters to smack back.

Slave: We have no training, no weapons.
Grey Worm dumps a bag of swords on the ground.

Not that the call and response type of exchange is inherently bad, but it's overused and poorly used with Daenerys, almost to the exclusion of other types of conversation.


Ser Barristan: Your Grace, may I have a word? The city is yours. All these people, they're your subjects now. Sometimes it is better to answer injustice with mercy.
Daenerys Targaryen: I will answer injustice with justice.

That one was especially terrible. Not only does it not seem like something Ser Barristan would say, it's phrased in such a way that no one would ever say it, and it only exists to clearly and artificially set up her reply, which really, is the only response to such tormented wording that would make any sense. It's awful.

We close with Daenerys posing for a soft focus glamor shot above the city.

(This would look great on my Trapper Keeper)

See also Protagonist flaws.

That was awful, but at least it's out of the way.

We cut to Bronn and Jaime dueling.  Jaime is getting better, but, when he catches Bronn's blade in a bind, Bronn reaches over, detaches Jaime's artificial hand, and smacks him with it.

 It's all done so leisurely, I'm surprised that Bronn didn't pause to scratch his nose at some point in the process. That's a scene that seems to go against what had been previously established. Jaime has been a professional warrior for a quarter century. A good portion of it was in ceremonial duties, but still he was renowned as one of the greatest warriors in the seven kingdoms.

Jaime Lannister: You're a rare talent. When you're fighting cripples, anyway.
Bronn: You learned to fight like a good little boy. I'll bet that thrust through the Mad King's back was pretty as a picture. You want to fight pretty or you want to win?

I'd argue that Jaime always fought to win. Something like this might trick Ser Loras (though even he was cagey enough to use a mare in heat against the Mountain's stallion, so maybe not), but generally, a predictable dirty trick against a top talent in a field is unlikely to catch him off guard. (Sorry, that's one of my pet peeves)

Also, that hand came off pretty easily. I thought it had straps or something, but it pops right off like Bronn poked an eject button.

It leads into an exchange I like, however,

Bronn: Your brother ever tell you how I came into his service?
Jaime Lannister: You stood for him in his trial by combat at the Eyrie.
Bronn: Aye. But only when Lady Arryn demanded the trial take place that day. You were his first choice. He named you for his champion because he knew you would ride day and night to come fight for him. You gonna fight for him now?

That leads directly to a scene with Tyrion in the dungeon. It's pretty good, as are all scenes with Tyrion, but no great shakes. Tyrion gets a line about the calling themselves the Kingslayer brothers, which made me laugh.  Of note, Tyrion says that Sansa's not a murderer, yet, and the scene cuts to the person most richly in need of murdering.

Littlefinger looks only slightly less smug than Daenerys as expounds on his evil plot. I hope that Tyrion's line was foreshadowing, and that Sansa gets him.

We cut to Granny Tyrell, who confirms to her granddaughter what Littlefinger implies, that she pulled a stone from Sansa's necklace and used it to poison Joffrey. It seems a little foolish to say it out loud, in the very location where she advised Margery to employ discretion, but it's for our benefit and not hers, so I'll let it slide.

We get a scene in Castle Black where Jon is training some recruits, and man, we're all over the place this episode.

Then it's Cersei and Jaime, where she's distant and formal with him, and Jaime is all butthurt over it, and it's presented as if he's the wronged party. So, that's how they're going to do it.  I understand that the entire season has been filmed before the first episode aired, and that's not going to give the staff the chance to correct their error in the previous episode.

Then, it's Tommen and Margery. Tommen is really, really boring. Robert is not his father, but I don't think Jaime is, either. It's probably a mannequin, or a piece of cardboard. Fittingly, this scene takes place in his bedchambers, because it makes me want to fall asleep. Margery sneaks in and Zzz...



Still, the scene had a bit more pussy action than I was expecting.

Ser Pounce

Another scene with Jaime and Brienne. Jaime charges her to complete his oath. He gives her the sword (I like how balances it. That's a nice touch of verisimilitude).

She names it Oathkeeper, and Brienne's so cool that she gets to name her sword. She inherits Tyrion's squire, and Podrick is always fun. They could have a really interesting dynamic, but since it promises to be entertaining, we don't actually see it this episode.

More Harry and Snape up at the wall. Oops, I mean Jon Snow and Ser Alliser, who have a staring contest, and spawn a thousand slashfics in that moment.

Jon's been rubbing me the wrong way this season, and it think it has its roots in his sullen, sulky testimony in the beginning of the season.  If he's calling the wildlings "the free people" during his testimony, it's not unreasonable to at least entertain the notion that he's gone native. (Also, genial old Maester Aemon coddling him past all reason really reminded me of Dumbledore doing the same, which probably prompted the Potter parallels.)

"This is Torchwood, Gwen."

We cut to Craster's keep. I didn't realize that Karl was Burn Gorman (from Torchwood!).
He seemed halfway familiar, but I kept thinking back Percy, the sadistic guard in the Green Mile. I like him a bit more now that I recognize him. He's so evil that he drinks from a Lord Commander Skull Goblet. When Craster's last son is born, Burn gives it to the White Walkers.

We have a scene with Bran, where everyone sits around being boring for a couple minutes before they're captured by Craster's goons.

We close with White Walker riding a zombie horse back to take the baby back to some magical zombie conversion site where a a well-dressed White Walker makes him into a zombie baby. It's weird, and a strange note on which to end the episode.



No, Oberyn Martell in this week's episode. That made me sad. No Melisandre or Tywin or Hound or Arya, either. That also makes me sad.