Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Superman Rules/Batman Poops: Superman fills in for Batman

Knightfall is probably my favorite episode of the Superman Animated Series of the late 90s. There were a couple episodes I really enjoyed, but none more so than Knight Time. I watched it with Lily, who enjoyed it, but since we have constantly arguments over whether Superman "rules" or "poops". I mentioned this to a friend.

Me: Lily and I watched the episode of Superman where he fills in for Batman.
Friend: Superman poops. He could never fill in for Batman.
Me: Batman poops. He poops so much, his utility belt is full of depends.
Friend: That's really pretty gross.

We open with Superman subduing one of Batman's villains, then rescuing a feckless Robin. Robin tells him that Gotham has fallen apart without somebody to dress up like Dracula and beat the mentally ill populace unconscious. Superman decides to step in, reasoning, hey, Batman does it. How hard can it be?

When meeting with the Commissioner, Superman mimics Batman's voice. When Robin asks him how he did it, he answers in Batman's voice, "Precise muscle control." Pause. (In Robin's voice)  "Plus, I have a pretty good ear.

Robin responds in what he no doubt imagines to be a badass tone, "Don't do that again."

Or what, Robin? What exactly would you do to Superman if he kept talking in your voice? Kick him with your elf shoes?

They encounter some of Batman's most fearsome foes, including a man in a funny hat and a different man in a funny hat.

A Hero is defined by his villains

Truly, Batman is the greatest hero of all.

They track down the kidnapped Bruce Wayne, who was brainwashed by Brainiac's nanites into launching a spaceship from Wayne Aerospace. Superman-as-Batman throws some bat-themed rope around Brainiac's wrists but Brainiac snaps the rope and turns his death rays on his assailant.

What follows is my very favorite moment for the entire three-season run of the show. Brainiac keeps blasting him until he's a curled up on the floor, the costume burned off entirely.

Then Superman rises out of the flames.

The camera zooms in on Brainiac, who remarks in his usual deadpan monotone: "Kal-El. This development was highly improbable." And then Superman beat the shit out of him. It was glorious.

In conclusion, Superman Rules and Batman Poops.

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