Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Magic Tree House: Lamey, Lamey, Lamey

Lily skipped second grade, and went directly from first into third. This is unusual for the school district, and the decision wasn't finalized until the end of the school year. Consequently, there were some issues. One was that she got the summer reading list for kids heading into the second grade. It wasn't until Jen managed to find the principal at a community function that we learned what books she needed. (He got them to us very promptly, too, because he's a great guy.)

Unfortunately, that encounter came late in the summer, and Lily had to read a number of Magic Tree House books in a short period of time. Whoever selects the curriculum must really love the Magic Tree House series. That's unfortunate, because Lily fucking hates the Magic Tree House series.

I don't blame her. They're bland, boring, insipid, and the worst kind of edutainment.Yoona Park over at yoonanimous said it best in this post, worth reading in its entirety: "Those books are so bad that they will make you start hating things you used to think were cool, like time travel, Morgan Le Fay, and trees."

Cyborg from the Teen Titans hates them too.



When Jack and Annie went to the moon, I wanted them to explosively decompress, with their heads exploding, like that dude in Scanners.

Magic Treehouse: 'Sploding in Space
When they visited dinosaurs, I wanted to see them eaten by a T-Rex.

Magic Treehouse: Dined on by Dinosaurs
When they visted cowboys, I wanted them shot dead

Magic Treehouse: Killed by Cowboys

I wanted them to be neutralized by Ninjas, but I couldn't find a gif for that.

I really, really hope that the Magic Treehouse is not going to be a big part of this curriculum.

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